The PAC Twelver - Week 5

First: #7 Stanford (4-1 / 2-0 PAC 12) got beat up 38-17 by the #8 Fighting Irish (5-0) in front of a sellout crowd in South Bend Saturday night. Irish senior defensive tackle Jerry “The Pain Distillery” Tillery (6 tackles / 4 sacks / 4 TFL / 2 QBH) was the baddest dude on the football field, and singlehandedly disoriented the Cardinal offense. He tallied 4 sacks on the night, and got a well deserved game ball for his efforts.

Second: Bryce “Dr.” Love (17 carries / 73 yards 1 TD / 4.3 YPC vs. ND) left the Notre Dame game due to an undisclosed injury with 11 minutes left to go in the 4th quarter. His health is a major concern for the Cardinal presently, and his status for Saturday vs. Utah (2-2) is still very much in question. #Pray4Love

Third: #11 Washington (4-1 / 2-0 PAC-12) played their most complete game of the year, stifling #20 BYU (3-2) 35-7 in Seattle this past weekend. Huskies senior quarterback Jake Browning (23 for 25 passing / 277 yards / 1 passing TD / 1 rushing TD / 95.4 QBR) was a model of efficiency, and the U Dub defense continued to prove that they are far and away the best overall D in the PAC-12 conference. These Dawgs have a mean bite.

Fourth: #19 Oregon (4-1 / 1-1 PAC 12) “Ducked up” #24 CAL’s (3-1 / 0-1 PAC 12) conference home opener, handily beating the Bears 42-24 on the road. Loyal reader of The Twelver and teen heartthrob Oregon junior QB Justin Herbert (16 for 22 passing / 225 yards / 2 TD’s / 94.5 QBR) led the quack attack to nearly 500 yards of total offense, and much like a Werewolf of London, “his hair was perfect.” The Bears on the other hand, or paw, had 5, count ‘em 5 turnovers in the contest. That is always a recipe for disaster.

Fifth: The Oregon freshman running back tandem of Travis “Never Say” Dye (20 carries / 115 yards / 1 TD / 5.8 YPC) and CJ “Touchdown Tommy” Verdell (9 carries / 106 yards / 11.8 YPC) is officially formidable, and the conference will be taking note of this for some time to come. #FastAsDuck #FroshPride

Sixth: The #10 Huskies at #18 Oregon on 10/13 will be one of the best college football games of the year, just mark it down as “drinking for all the right reasons” on your calendar.

Seventh: ‘The Pirate’ Mike Leach and his Washington State Cougars (4-1 / 1-1 PAC 12) won a 28-24 thriller at home against Utah (2-2 / 0-2 PAC 12) over the weekend. WSU senior quarterback “The” Gardner Minshew (31 for 56 passing / 445 yards / 3 TD’s / 1 INT / 73.5 QBR) was fruitful in his harvest of the Utes defense. With just over 4 minutes left to play, ‘The Gardner’ connected with junior wideout Easop “not Aesop” Winston Jr. (4 receptions / 115 yards / 28.8 YPR / 1 TD) for an 89-yard touchdown that would prove to win it for the Cougs.

Eighth: The #21 Colorado Buffaloes (4-0 / 1-0 PAC 12) ran over UCLA (0-4 / 0-1 PAC 12) 38-16 Friday night at home, though the game was close until the 2nd half. Colorado junior QB Steven Montez (22 for 26 passing / 237 yards / 1 TD / 93.2 QBR) was as cool as the ‘Rocky Mountain Gatorade’ (Coors Light) that flowed freely in the student section. #GetBuffBeBuffStayBuff

Ninth: U$C (3-2 / 2-1 PAC 12) held on to beat Arizona (2-3 / 1-1 PAC 12) 24-20 in the desert on Saturday, though they were up 24-0 at one point in the 2nd half. Trojan senior running back Aca’Cedric Ware (21 carries / 173 yards / 2 TD’s / 8.2 YPC) was a horse, and carried the heavy weight for SC under the lights in Tucson.

Tenth: Either “Just” Clay Helton is on ‘The Sarkisian Diet’ (Only copious amounts of Patron Silver for weeks on end) as I recommended several weeks back, or winning really is the best medicine. Believe it or not, “Just” Clay looked somewhat relaxed after that W, and all of us here at ‘The Twelver’ hope his career anxiety remains at bay.

Eleventh: Arizona State (3-2 / 1-1 PAC 12) did what many teams do in order to snap a two game losing streak, they hosted Oregon State (1-4 / 0-2 PAC 12). Devils sophomore tailback Eno Benjamin”s” (30 carries / 312 yards / 3 TD’s / 10.4 YPC) put a fork in the Beavers, rushing to a career day in Tempe.

Twelfth: This week I drank Cuba Libres for the Stanford v. Notre Dame debacle, and based on the Cardinal performance, they were going down like water by the 4th quarter. As I have written before, rum is fun, however that game was not. The way I see it this week, the three best PAC-12 games to be tipping adult beverages for are Utah (2-2) at #14 Stanford (4-1), Arizona State (3-2) at #21 Colorado (4-0), and CAL (3-1) at Arizona (2-3). Regardless of results, please drop a line here on your favorite beers, cocktails, and wines for game days. Good luck, and cheers y’all.