First: #7 Stanford (3-0) worked UC Davis (2-1 / #23 in FCS) on The Farm this past weekend, and the final tally after a crazy but basically meaningless Hail Mary on the last play, was 30-10. Though backups played most of the 2nd half for the Cardinal, senior wide receiver and team captain J.J. Arcega-Whiteside (3 receptions / 36 yards / 2 TD’s / 12.0 YPR) caught two more touchdowns in this one, giving him 5 in their first three games. In the famous words of ‘The Swami’ Chris Berman, “All he does is catch touchdowns.”

Second: #10 Washington (2-1) took care of business 21-7 at Utah (2-1) last Saturday, in what was a quality road win against a very respectable defense. Senior running back “For” Myles Gaskin (30 carries / 143 yards / 4.8 YPC / 1 TD) was the lead Dawg on offense, pulling the sled, and Utes defenders downfield all day.

Third: #20 Oregon finished their pre-season schedule (Bowling Green, Portland State, San Jose State) 3-0, beating SJSU 35-22 at Autzen Stadium. Ducks junior quarterback Justin Herbert (16 for 34 passing / 309 yards / 3 TD’s / 2 INT), an avid reader of The Twelver, and the rest of ‘The Quack Attack’ have their first true test on Saturday as they host #7 Stanford in Eugene. Good people of the world, ice down some beers, and watch that game.

Fourth: U$C (1-2) went to Austin this past weekend, seemingly for the same reason my old buddy Mike went there, his wife’s job. The Trojans got crushed by Texas (2-1) 37-14 in a football game that also happened to take place, and worse still for Trojan fans, the contest was somehow not as close as the score already fails to indicate. Though we are only three game in to the ’18 season, SC head coach Clay Helton should probably pour himself a “Sarkisian”, and start thoroughly researching the job market.

Fifth: Arizona State (2-1) dropped their first game under new head coach and program “savior” Herm Edwards, a 28-21 heartbreaker versus a strong San Diego State (2-1) squad. ASU senior QB Manny Wilkins (31 for 46 passing / 341 yards / 2 TD’s / 76.6 QBR) had a good day on the gridiron, but it was the Aztecs who eventually “forked up” the Devils plans.

Sixth: Washington State (3-0) beat up on inter-state-red-headed-step-brother Eastern Washington (2-1) 59-24 in Pullman this past weekend, to the surprise of only a few well inebriated apple farmers. WSU senior quarterback Gardner Minshew (45 for 57 passing / 470 yards / 2 TD’s / 73.9 QBR) is likely going to need Tommy John surgery before the season is out if ‘The Pirate’ keeps hucking it 50+ times per game, but for the present it seems to be working.

Seventh: Colorado (3-0) brought New Hampshire (0-3) to The Rocky Mountains last Saturday, and showed them an offensive avalanche in the 45-14 victory. Buff RB’s senior Travon McMillian (15 carries / 162 yards / 10.8 YPC / 2 TD’s) and junior Beau Bisharat (13 carries / 92 yards / 7.1 YPC) stayed ‘in bounds’ all day, and flew past the UNH defense like they were on the slopes at Eldora.

Eighth: CAL (3-0) mauled Idaho State (1-1) 45-23 in Berkeley over the weekend, in what can only be described as a culture shock for all parties involved. The Bears talented linebacking duo of senior Jordan Kunaszyk (10 tackles / 2 sacks / 2 TFL) and junior Evan Weaver (13 tackles / 2 PD / 1 QBH) were again able to get their paws all over the opponent.

Ninth: U... C... L... F? Well, Chip Kelly’s letter grade at UCLA (0-3) is certainly not an A thus far, and after getting chewed up by the Bulldogs of Fresno State (2-1) 38-13 in The Rose Bowl, I would say an F is fair. It’s like an old Motown song, “Chip, you’ve been away so long.”

Tenth: Arizona (1-2) finally righted the ship, or at least prevented it from sinking, by beating Southern Utah (0-3) 62-31 at home. Wildcats junior quarterback Khalil Tate (13 for 20 passing / 349 yards / 5 TD’s / 87.7 QBR) looked like the player America fell in love with last year, creating big moments for the Cats with both his strong arm and tremendous athleticism.

Eleventh: Those “dam” Beavers (1-2) dropped another close one, this time 37-35 at Nevada (2-1), on a missed field goal as time expired. No, I am not joking. Watching OSU football games is like watching the opposite of a Disney movie, as you just know it is never going to work out for the underdog. I root for the “dam” Beavers, so their unique, almost Charger-like ability to cough up games pains me as well Oregon State fans.

Twelfth: Last week I made Cadillac Margaritas for the Stanford win over Davis, and yes, of course I hit every glass with an aggressive GM (Grand Marnier) floater. It was a Baja change of pace, and everyone involved certainly walked away from the day with a slight stagger. In any case, the way I see it the three best PAC-12 games to be tipping adult beverages for this weekend are #7 Stanford (3-0) at #20 Oregon (3-0), Arizona State (2-1) at #10 Washington (2-1), and Washington State (3-0) at USC (1-2). However they play out, please drop a line here on your favorite cocktails, beers, and wines for game days. Cheers y’all.

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