The College Five: Week Zero

The college football season is finally back in our lives, which means every Saturday, we can all dive headfirst into 18 hours of football. All that football can be daunting (FOMO is real, and you don’t want to be the sap that missed the big play or the crazy comeback), but have no fear. The College Five column is here.

And this year, the article will have a unique twist to close out the season. I will predict scores and track my record throughout the year, like before, but for 2019, should I finish below .500, there will be a punishment that you decide.

Fellow site manager Matt Vassar helped me build a list of punishments:

Gloves of shame - I write an article on my debacle while wearing gloves filled by you. Options might include pudding, eggs, or cooked spaghetti and marinara sauce.

Assassins - Six buddies all shoot me with paintball guns for 30 seconds.

Primal Screams - Volunteer for the open mic at a coffee shop and recite a poem that is comprised entirely of screams.

Unfortunate Date Night - On the first full moon of the month, I will kiss a creepy-crawly animal. You vote which pet from the pet store I kiss, like a tarantula, snake, or rat.

The Sherman - I go into a crowded bar and scream the entirety of the Erin Andrews interview with Richard Sherman following the 2013 NFC Championship game.

So leave a comment with your choice or tweet me (@CMolesky) your top pick.

Despite it being week zero, here are both games, which are must-watch because FOOTBALL IS BACK.

Miami Hurricanes vs. (8) Florida Gators -Gators are favored by seven

The Gators finished off the season with a three-game winning steak, then smoked the Michigan Wolverines in the Peach Bowl by 27.

Florida’s offense was deadly, averaging 35 points per game, and topping 40 points six times. The Gators attack was also balanced, posting an average of 213 yards both on the ground and through the air.

But the Hurricanes will not be an opening season doormat; their defense will make sure of it.

The 7-6 record can misconstrue the body of work for Miami. While their offense may have struggled for large portions of the season, the defense was straight nasty. The defense was second in yards allowed per game and 15th in points allowed per game. Not only did they grind teams to a halt, but they were vicious getting to the quarterback, throwing up 40 sacks. I’m also pretty sure that seeing the Turnover Chain pulled out means college football has officially begun.

Unfortunately, the Gators defense was not too shabby, snagging 37 sacks and letting up a mere 20.4 points each outing. The complete team (Florida) takes this one. Bet the spread.

Florida wins 35-17

Arizona Wildcats vs. Hawaii Rainbow Warriors - Wildcats favored by 11

Are the Wildcats favored by double-digits? Double-digits! Yes, Kevin Sumlin is a good head coach who might be able to eventually turn things around with Khalil Tate at the helm. Yes, the defensive line is supposed to be revamped and dangerous.

But Arizona is headed for Cole McDonald, the buzzsaw quarterback from the islands. McDonald collected 3,875 yards and 36 touchdowns, failing to top 200 passing yards in just two games. McDonald was able to lead the Rainbow Warriors to eight wins, shocking everyone who thought they would find the bottom of the conference. McDonald is about to shock Arizona with an air-raid attack that averaged 298.07 yards per game last season.

Arizona struggled to start hot last season and Honolulu is traditionally difficult for out of conference teams.

Hawaii wins 58-45